about a boy

Thursday, January 31, 2013

12 years ago I grew a boy under my heart. And in that heart I knew he was just that, a son. The day he was born my world changed and my soul opened in ways I never knew possible. That same heart that had been captured by my husband, and filled up with our daughter, was stolen clean away by a boy.

As that baby has grown into boy and boy begins his journey into manhood, hugs become fewer and farther between. His circle is small and his bubble tight. He will daily accept but not often offer. I wonder if he knows how much of my heart he holds. I wish him to know that I am there for him, always.

And then while in front of friends he comes up to me, his momma, and squishes in next to me, two parts into one chair - my heart beats within my chest to bursting. My soul is filled with unspeakable joy. He. loves. me.

When he sees me from across a room, where he did not expect to find me, his eyes catch mine and a wide smile fills his face, and I know this boy loves me. He needs me, and I him.

Late at night, with few words spoken, he just wants me there - to rub his back or read him a book. And I know that I am loved.

It is in these moments I must fill up that hole he left behind when he stole my heart away, with the love that he offers, in any way he will.

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