daily schedule

 {looking mighty pleased with his work!}

People ask all the time if we have a schedule and what it looks like. This is the easiest question to answer about homeschooling. It is pinned up in the kitchen. You can go and see it for yourself. It looks good on paper!
But, as I am sure you have guessed, things don't always (almost never) go according to 'THE SCHEDULE'.
As much as I wish I were one of those naturally flexible fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of people I am not. I have had to learn to be malleable along the way. I am a task master, a check-it-off-the-lister. After 3 years I think I am just beginning to find my way through this thing we call homeschooling.
For those who ask what my advice would be, to any homeschooling mom this is my #1:
Talk to as many people as you can, research and learn yourself, take the pieces you like and that you think will work for you and your family, leave what you don't, try new things, be patient - this is a process, and don't ever try to be someone else. Only you will know what is right for you. And even then sometimes you won't. It can be scary. But it will be okay.

So as far as the schedule is concerned - I do have one. It looks something like this:
Monday - math, music, piano lessons
Tuesday - language arts, library, fine arts
Wednesday -  more of a free day (swimming lessons, life skills) Cubs and Achievement Day Girls
Thursday - science, health and career (my 8 year old upon hearing that we were doing a health and career class told me that she was far too young for a career! I couldn't agree more. But since we get money from the government we have somewhat of an outline to follow. So 'Health and Career' can be anything like, stranger danger, computer safety, fire safety, simple accounting, ect.)
Friday - social studies, second language, ballet, date night
Saturday - tap class, field trips, family swim and movie night

See, It looks good on paper. Now take this list and schedule in every temper-tantrum, every dirty diaper (or worse, underwear from the 3 year old who knows better where to go!). Schedule the laundry and the dishes, and the phone calls, and the errands, and the kids who just don't want to! ("I'm not interested in that", has become a common phrase these days.) I might have missed a few things, but it doesn't matter because they wouldn't fit anyways. Now take the schedule and throw it out the window, for today at least. Or better yet, clog up the toilet by flushing it down there! Tomorrow is another day and I can always try again. But for the most part the schedule is for my piece of mind. If I have a basic outline it helps me at least organize my thoughts and general direction, even if no one else is interested.

Now if I have completely scared you off homeschooling, don't be fooled. This homeschooling thing (whether it is right for you or not only you will know. Do what is right for YOU) is so rewarding. I love seeing my kids grow and learn and suddenly get a concept. I do love having them home. I don't love the noise and the chaos, but that is part of this imperfect and wonderful package. I do worry if I can give them enough, if I am smart enough, if they will be okay. The answer is yes and no. But we will figure this out together.

Days where I would love to be lost in my own little world doing something I want to do, are lost in books and equations, scissors, markers, and mess. But when your child comes to you and asks, "Can you teach me how to.....?" what could be more important than that?

If this is the path you have chosen, don't try and make your journey look just like Mrs. so-and-so's down the street or half way across the world in Blogland. This is about so much more than schooling. At the root of it all is simply relationships. These are the things that will be tested. These are the lessons that will help your children understand whatever else they need to know. You can't make them learn, but you can try to create an environment where they want to learn.

Now for the practical advice. (I still want someone to just give me something - anything I can put into practice today, without having to discover by it myself)
Schedule free time and stick to it. You will catch up later, or you won't, but you will be a better teacher and mom and you will have more attentive kids if everyone gets a break.
I get breaks in 2 ways.
First of all: Wednesday is our free day. This is the day that I can catch up on housework, or sewing, or blogging, or nothing. This is a day reserved for stories and games and knitting and curling up for hours with a book. We use to have this day scheduled on Friday, but I heard through a friend that she knew someone who took their breaks on Wednesdays, and it has been working out so much better for us. It provides a break in the middle before we need it instead of pushing through until we NEED it.
Secondly: I have a very supportive husband who allows me to have guilt free time doing things for myself. This year in particular I have had the opportunity to learn fencing and rowing. But even walking around Walmart or going to the library or a movie can do the trick.

Good luck!

If you are a homeschooling mom I would like to share one of the best articles I have read on the subject. No I take that back, moms everywhere can gain something from this. Enjoy!

family virtues

For those who care to know and those who ask me questions about the kinds of things we do for homeschooling I thought I would pass this along:

We started the Virtues Project this year. I am loving it. Every day the kids have the opportunity to earn appreciation cards when they have been seen displaying a virtue. When they earn a certain number of cards they get to pick a reward from the jar. I have had to put a cap on how many cards I distribute a day! 

For those who feel that it is wrong to reward, that the act should be a reward in itself and that the kids will learn to do things for the wrong reasons - I hear you and I understand. I have worried about this myself. But when I see the things they are doing for each other and the areas in which we are all improving, I would rather have them learn these things and get a reward, than do nothing at all.

If you want to know more about this program (founded by locals) you can go here. 

Teachers Assistant

I would love to be able to sit and read every book and  help with every puzzle whenever I am asked, and although I can a lot of the time, sometimes I cannot. This comes with the territory of having a large family and other children who need my time and attention as well. Instead of worrying or feeling guilty - how will I ever home school them all and give them the time and attention they need? - I have to remember that I have older children that can and are willing to help out. Like today, when I was asked by Tate to read him a story. I told him that I would in a minute as soon as I finished what I was doing. Emma, having heard the conversation asked if he would like her to read to him. He was delighted. Tate did not care if it was read by Emma or myself. He just wanted to hear a story. I believe that they gain so much from being able to serve and help each other. So in my absence and limitations, something else is gained - a bond between siblings that necessity helps create. 

Matilda

What do you do when all your daughter wants is to curl up on the couch with a book and a pillow and read, and read, and read - only to ask, when she is done, if you will take her to the library?

You leave her alone and watch as her little mind absorbs the story and she becomes immersed in that world, and then you silently give thanks for these precious moments when it is witnessed to your heart that what you are doing is right and is working. That you're children are not only learning to read, but learning to love it. And then you take her to the library!

Memory Jars

We made our memory jars today with a simple jar and a picture of each of the kids - they are now ready to be filled with memorabilia. The kids are super excited by the idea and eager to start. I have no doubt they with be filled with all sorts of "treasures". My hope is that they will be able to look back at each years jar and see what they looked like and remember some of the fun times we shared together.

Noelle was able to put her first thing in her jar. Darren and I surprised Noelle on Saturday night by taking her out to see "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" in 3D at the movie theater in Victoria.
It has been a family tradition of ours to read a book together and then to see the movie. It began with Noelle and I reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory together when she was 4. A tradition that has grown to include many books and all the other children. Although this is a book that we all enjoyed I didn't think that this movie would be appropriate for the younger ones yet.
It is kind of exciting and scary all at the same time to have a child that is growing up into a lovely young lady. I often think of her as a little girl. She is not anymore. I need to start treating her as the young lady she is becoming. I need to let her grow up and quit holding her back. She needs to be allowed experiences that are age appropriate for her and not be limited to what the youngest of her brothers and sisters are ready for. And yet I feel the need to hold back the younger ones a bit and not let them grow up to fast just because they have older siblings. This is a delicate balance and I have at times had to change course in the middle of a book or movie that wasn't what I felt my little ones needed yet. Their time will come, all too soon. As for Noelle - her time is here, and she is ready to start spreading her wings and be given the room to grow, while still safe within arms reach. There is a time to shelter and then there comes the day when guidance is the more appropriate term. My job with Noelle is changing. I need to stop lumping them together and allow room and experiences for each child in each stage. I fear my little ones growing up and leaving home. A part of me wants them to stay small for longer than they will. I am realizing that I cannot change the time I have been given with them. I cannot, no matter how I would try, extend the years. It would be selfish to do so. I have the time I have, and I need to learn to cherish each new stage. I need to losen my grip. I need to give them wings and teach them to fly. If I fail to do so, I will crush the person they are meant to be. So although I may be able to preserve their pictures and some tokens in a glass jar, I cannot do the same with them. This is the pattern that all children follow. Children grow and mothers mourn. In children we can watch this change take place. Besides a few grey hairs and a few more wrinkles the change in mothers is much less obvious - for it happens on the inside. Through trials we become stronger. Through pain we become softer. Through the years we become wiser. This is the way it was meant to be. These are the things I saw through 3D glasses.

Boiling Frogs

I was introduced to these daily e-mails (below) by my friend Nikki Kenyon, and I am so grateful for it. I get one in my mail box every morning, just in time to start my day. Some I read and forget about 10 minutes later, while others stick and actually help me as I think about it all day long. I loved this one. One of the most common concerns from people in regards to home-schooling (besides socialization, of course) is, will my children be able to cope in the 'real world'. I have found the perfect reply, because if the 'real world' they're talking about is the one I think they're talking about  I hope that my children will HOP OUT!
Oh, and please remember I am NOT against public school or any other form of healthy education, NOT AT ALL! But if you are against home-schooling and I am offending you, please remember that you are reading my Home-school blog and you don't have to, if you don't want to. {I'll never know!}

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle

www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: "I'm Not A Frog-Boiler!" ::

When you reject authoritarian, coercive parenting in

favor of non-punitive, pleasure-oriented parenting,

critics and naysayers will warn you that your child

won't be able to cope in the "real" world.

The assumption is that "it's a jungle out there" and

we should gradually toughen up our kids and get them

used to suffering so they won't be shocked when they

venture out into the big, bad world.

It's like that famous experiment where they tossed a

healthy frog in boiling water and it leaped right out.

But if they put the frog in cool water and raised the

temperature gradually over several days, the frog

would be able to *adjust* and stay in the water.

The slow boil seems more humane, but that

"well-adjusted" frog eventually *died* from the heat!

Whereas the non-adjusted frog's intact sensitivity

protected it from being boiled.

Today, look for evidence that your child's sensitivity

is intact (e.g., negative reactions to unwanted

conditions) and be *grateful* for it! Tell yourself,

"My child will *never* get boiled!"

Memorizations of the Month

Every month we memorize a scripture, value, word and quote. We use the same monthly scripture that the children are learning in primary and I pick a word, value and quote that goes along with it. The kids recite the board every morning durning our devotional, and they actually love it! In the beginning they read it off the board, but then it becomes a challenge for them to recite it from memory. By the time I change it up for the next month, they have the previous month memorized so well that they automatically start reciting it. 

I want my children to learn how to be good people. The word good has become so trite in our modern culture, but the biggest compliment someone could give me about my children is that they are good people. If they turn out smart and cute and every other nice thing that parents want for their children to be - great!, but if they are not good they have nothing in the end. 

Most days an outsider observing my children might not be able to tell that this is one of my major goals in life and that I do actually spend a great deal of my time attempting to teach them right from wrong, good form bad, kindness, generosity, charity and the meaning of family, but as with most things, it takes time. 

This past Stake Conference our Stake President gave a talk on just this thing. He described a woman who devotedly watered her newly seeded lawn so that the seeds would take and not dry out and die. She was very pregnant and had 2 little ones as well. She said that after about 2 weeks she had the biggest, greenest weeds you had ever seen. She went on to describe that this is how she felt about life in general - she was just watering weeds, feeding one end of her kids and cleaning up the other. She shared her struggle with whether what she was doing in her life would actually amount to any good. But then she described the feeling she had when her efforts in caring for the new seed finally resulting in something worth while. As is with our lives raising young children - the work must go in first and it must be made a priority. We cannot let them dry out and wither and die. We must never give up and one day we will see the long awaited results that we have worked so hard for. This is my goal, this is my prayer, 

"That on that resurrection day, I may stand before my Savior and say, Here am I am the children you gave me." Author Unknown

Someone this past summer asked me if I ever worried that my children wouldn't get a good enough education by being home-schooled. I do believe that she meant no harm, but I also think she was expecting me to say, 'Oh, no, I never worry about that!" Instead I told her the truth and I said, 'YES!" I think I surprised her. You see, when you make the choice to home school, you must be prepared for critics. It is that way whenever you make a choice that goes against pop culture. Most people are positive and nice, at least to you face and others don't even need to be acknowledged. {This is MY blog, after all}. With home-schooling one tends to be prepared with all the right answers to other peoples questions, or you learn on the job! I think the reason I surprised this friend was because she had probably never been given that answer before, and I know why, because we home-schoolers need not allow any room for debate or criticism, especially with those just waiting to pounce. But since I was honest in my fear, we were able to have a very comfortable and open conversation about it. In expressing some of the reasons I chose to home-school with her and some of the things I no longer had to worry about, she said, "So, it's like a worry exchange then?" And I said , "Yes?!, that is exactly what it is!" I love that phrase. I am grateful that we had that talk. What a great expression! I no longer worry that my girls will grow up too fast, that my boys will be exposed to pornography or violence. I don't worry about them hearing foul language or getting bullied. I do worry that I won't be smart enough to school them, or maybe that they are getting plenty of quantity time but are they getting quality time? Am I really able to do it all? Will I crack? These are my fears. But I try hard to focus on the positive. I am their mother. I was inspired to home-school. I can do this if I have the Lord's help, and it can even be fun!

"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."
— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Little House on the Prairie

My girls are reading through The Little House on the Prairie books right now, and loving every minute of it. We planned to do a sewing project last Friday and I asked the kids to think of something that they would like to make. Bergen choose a little pillow for his stuffed animals, and the girls choose...bonnets! They each did such a great job.
Home schooled kids, some might say.
But that is the beauty of it all. I love that my kids don't know and don't care what other people think and that they feel so perfectly safe at 10, 9 and 7 to sew bonnets and pillows with mom. My children aren't awkward or strange, they get along really well with their non-home schooled friends. BUT they are absolutely free and comfortable to be who they are and do what they want to do.
I am all for keeping kids, kids for as long as possible. They will grow up, that is inevitable. They will spend most of their lives as adults. But they will only have 1 childhood, and I intend to let it last!

Self-schooling children

You have heard of self-cleaning ovens, but have you heard of self-schooling children!? I guess my kids are tired and bored of me still being limited to what I can do since my surgery - this morning I found them gathered around the table doing school work.....and testing themselves by seeing if they could beat the timer! So cool!

Summer

Summer is here and I am going to be spending part of mine preparing for next September -while the kids play, explore, create, get dirty and just be kids. First on the agenda is to finish the school room we started over 2 years ago and then, once and for all, organize it! I am even more excited about this coming year! I feel like I have learned so much last year that will help me this time around.

The Life Of a Homeschool Mom

Who reads The Lady Of Shalott to her older children while sitting on the edge of the tub in the bathroom, while bathing her 1 year old baby because her diaper is leaking and there are no more in the house, because she didn't want to take 5 kids to Walmart to buy diapers. Instead she would've rather risked it, hoping that the one she put on her hours earlier would some how last unreasonably long while she waits for her husband to come home, just to send him back out again to get a new box of diapers, as the other little kids happily wander in, undress, and hop into the tub with the baby. Who does? A homeschool mom!

Through Rose Colored Glasses

Blogs are so funny. For the most part we blog about the happy, funny, cute moments of our lives, not the times we thought that at least 1 of us in the house, if not more, might not make it through the day in one piece. It can be a very surreal experience, especially when you read other's blogs and wonder why they live such hunky dory lives. As I look back through my own blog, I feel like Harry Potter as his friends are describing all the incredible things that he has done and he says, "It all sounds great when you put it like that, but I didn't know what I was doing half the time and I nearly always had help." Plus, as people, I think we want to remember the good and not dwell on the bad. But the adventures I write about, especially when it comes to home schooling should be taken as described by Harry Potter. I write about the things we did, not necessarily that so and so screamed the whole time or that the children fought like cats and dogs that day or that I had a teething baby and between her and the 4 others all wanting my attention to help them with something, they viewed as more important than what I was already doing with someone else, I felt like I couldn't even think straight. This is, I am discovering, going to be a balancing act like no other, an experience that will stretch me in all area's, particularly in patience. I love it some moments and in the very next I wonder how in the world I am ever going to teach 5 people all they need to know. So when you read my blog, I hope you will keep in mind these 2 things; first - that I WOULD NOT change this for the world, even though it is hard it is also SO wonderful and second - it all sounds great when you say it like that, but I didn't know what I was doing half the time and I nearly always had help!

Our Beginning

Well, we finally did it. The kids have been out of the public school system since Christmas break. It took an incident at school to force my hand and yet in retrospect I needed something like that to happen. I don't know if I would ever have been brave enough. I have always loved the idea and wanted to do this with my family, but quite honestly I have never felt smart enough, good enough, patient enough, strong enough, it was never the right time, I was never ready. It took a GREAT leap of faith for me to do this, the process was 4 1/2 years in the making and I could always justify putting it off. I know that this is right for my family, others may have a different path, but this is the way we are to go. I know it. I feel it everyday more and more. The choice was so hard because I was so scared. Once we made the choice, then came the peace that I had so desired before. Now that the choice is made, there is no going back. I can't believe that it took me so long. Every time I drive past the school I am so glad to be on this end of things, not because something so terrible happened but because I knew that I was not living true to myself. You can only go on like that for so long. When you know that there is something you should be or want to be doing and you don't do it for whatever reason, the choice seems to get harder and harder to make and you can feel it inside. Self- deception. And Although I am still scared, there are a few things that I have learned in the beginning of this adventure.
First of all, I had to ask myself, do I care more about my children or what other people think? Are you crazy is usually the first thing that people say or at least think when they are informed about our decision. I am sad to say that there have been moments when I cared more about how I looked in the sight of others. I want to be an inspiration and a mentor to my children and not a model of pop culture to those around me and I know that through this process I will find those who believe in and will support our choice. I have also been surprised to find that many do think that this is such a great venture. From mothers whose children are already raised, to the people Darren meets at work, to those who have not yet entered their children into the public school system, to past teachers.
Second, I was fearful that I am not smart enough to home school my kids. That someday they would discover that I had no idea what I was doing and that they are in fact smarter that I am. A friend who has been helping me along this path said to me, " We don't always know what we are doing in life, but we have kids anyways don't we?" There was a time (prechildren) that I thought I knew it all and mothering was going to be so easy as long as I did everything right ( are you laughing yet). Since then I have been humbled sufficiently. But I am not preventing it from stopping me or quitting in the middle of raising children. You just take one step at a time and hope in faith that you are doing something right, seek for inspiration and pray that Heavenly Father fills in the blanks. He gave me these children, that alone qualifies me to be the best teacher for them.
Third, "I wish I could do that, but I just can't". I have realized in saying that that I have actually been saying that the idea is nice, but I just don't want to do the work involved. I have come to believe that I can do anything that I want to do!
Forth, The other day I was out with all 5 kids by myself, at the library of all places! It is one thing to behave, it is quite another to behave and be quiet! The kids were well enough behaved, but still and always little children filled with energy and excitement. I felt a little like there were those looking at me and judging. This is not the first time I have ever felt this way, but in this case a thought entered my mind that never has before, I'm not finished yet. Meaning, come back in 20 years and judge me and my children then, when I have finished the job, don't judge me in the middle of my life's work!
Fifth, is there anything that I don't know that I can't learn? The answer of course is no. That is the hard part, to be the person I want my children to become.
Sixth, I thought that learning happened at school and life happened after hours. I have since dicovered that learning happens all day, everyday and how much more fun it is to learn while living. Sometimes it only takes a few extra words, a couple more minutes to turn something very ordinary into something of lasting value.
So far this has been pretty much what I had expected. I am loving it, I am sooooooooooo tired at the end of the day, as there is no down time, I want to pull my hair out sometimes, I feel like crying the next, sometimes from exhaustion, sometimes from the joy I am finding in my children. The one thing that has surprised me the very most though is that more than ever I feel like I don't have enough time with the children to teach them all I want to teach them. The days are flying by faster than while they were at school. I thought the days would seem longer with them here. I am so grateful for the inspiration that Darren and I have always felt and the baby steps that we have taken in order to get here. I am grateful for the peace I feel in knowing that this is right for us and I am grateful that I have the chance to be stretched farther that I ever thought I could be without breaking. So far I am the one doing all the learning. I pray that I will be able to become the person that God sees in me and for the part that this plays in that, I am grateful.