automatics anonymous

I had the opportunity to spend the day in Victoria with Jen Smith at a 6 hour Chris Keating Better Photos Workshop. The very first thing he had us do was to turn our cameras to manual. I had never done this before. He then spent the day teaching us all about shutter speed, aperture, ISO, white balance, metering and much more. Chris is extremely entertaining and talented. He challenged us to not revert back to automatic, but to push through and learn how to create photos instead of simply taking them. I had such a fun time. I would go again the next time he comes to Victoria, to learn even more. So much of it was over my head, but as Chris said, "Don't call yourself an amateur, call yourself a hobbyist. And tell your critics to get off your back, your a hobbyist, not a pro." One of my favorite parts was when Chris pulled people out of the audience and created photographs, never using an on camera flash. Up until this point the flash was my best friend while inside. Now that I know how to actually use my camera I can take pictures inside without a flash, even at night....crazy!
I am so grateful that Jen decided to do this and that she didn't mind that I tagged along with her. And when she dropped me off only to find Darren gone somewhere with the children and the house locked up tight, she took me home to hers. I loved spending the day with her. She teaches me to not take life so seriously, but best of all, she just makes me laugh! 

a ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships were built for ~ William Shedd

On December 31st I was filled with all kinds of thoughts. I was thinking of the many things we have to step back into this next week, the routines left behind in the celebration of His birth that are once again calling me back from my subconscious.  I also reflected back upon this past year. At first glance it seemed rather unremarkable, important, but nevertheless, unremarkable. 

On the very last day of 2011 we had no smashing party to attend. I had no gorgeous dress to wear. Nary a glass of bubbly was in sight, nor did we count down with the clock. We did, however, hold a Mario Cart competition, after we ate left-over sloppy joes for dinner. The kids were in bed by 8:30, we soon followed. My thought was this: Fitting really - we rang in the new year as unremarkably as we lived the last.

I did not make any new years resolutions. I keep thinking I should. Shouldn't I head into this new year with some goals?

I turned 34. Just 2 weeks ago.

As my birthday approached, I reflected back over the last year, my 33rd year of life. I remember turning 33, and thinking it was the happiest number! I was sure that it was going to be a great year. And the more I thought about it the more I began to realize, perhaps this year was a little more remarkable than first glance would suggest.

This year was hard. It brought more trials than I had anticipated. Looking back I can see how much I've grown, and I am grateful for the lessons I have learned. I have been humbled. In most cases I was compelled to be humble. I wish I would more often choose the humility instead.

This year also brought many unexpected adventures, things I didn't start the year setting out to accomplish. I learned to fence. I learned to row. I learned to surf. I made new friends. I got a new calling. I also did something, a secret something (I am still doing that something, actually, and I am not quite prepared to share it yet. Someday, but not today). This something I am doing I have been afraid to do for so long. But I did it, I took the first step, and a few more followed, and now I have set out at a jog.

The things I did this year may still seem unremarkable to most, but to me, to me they signify that I am courageous. Normally, I am about as mundane as one can be. It is comfortable here in this space I know so well. I would not ever describe myself as a fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants kind of girl. I like the predictable. I am much like the flower growing safely behind the terrarium glass.

This past year I lifted the lid just a bit.

What if this year I took the lid right off?

So as I step into 2012 I set out with a few goals: to continue on with the adventures I began last year, and to try and be a better mom to my children, wife to my husband, and friend to all I meet. This year most of all though, as people make resolutions to do something,  I commit my heart to do less of some things. I hope to stop caring what others think of me. I hope I will embrace the mess being a part of a big happy creative family brings. I hope to pay less attention to the mirror, the clock, and the to-do list. I hope that I will ignore my fears that tell me I can't.

What will my 34th year bring?

I do not know! But, I do know that I am going to fly by the seat of my pants a little more, trust myself to try new things, and open my arms and my heart to 365 more days filled with who knows what!

I am ready for it,

all of it!

And if this new year is anything like the last, I know I am in for a trip outside my safe harbor. After all:

Weekly Goal - Week 1

I have realized that if I ever expect to grow and change, I will have to set some goals for myself. These will be small and simple things that I can apply to my daily life, that in the long run will make a positive difference in my life and in the lives of my family members.

This weeks goal: Say yes more.

I find myself responding all to often to the many questions asked by my children with a quick, "no", without really considering what they are asking. Because I am under pressure or I am feeling much too busy for one more thing. When I say no what I am really saying is, "I don't want to clean up after that", or, "Can't you see that I am in the middle of changing a diaper." I need to pause and contemplate their requests. I need to slow down and start enjoying this messy life with little ones. Most of the time, if I give myself a moment to think, my answer would be a "yes", or at least a, "yes, but a little later". No becomes a habit! So my goal this week is to say yes more! Yes to more painting, yes to more baking, yes to more of the little things that will make a big difference in the lives of my children.

I finished another book - 5 Needs Your Kids Must Have Met at Home by Ron Hutchcraft. I liked this book and I was able to be given some positive direction for improving my parenting. I already knew a lot of the information in the book, but the author has a way of really bringing idea's to life through allegories and parables. He discusses different parenting styles and the effects they have upon our children, bringing awareness to my personal style. I think we can do things without even sometimes realizing it. This book as enabled me to really look at and study my approach to parenting. I notice when I do certain things now, and why, and what the end result will most likely be - not all negative, much positive as well.

The major message I found was to look past your child's deeds to their needs and I have been able to do this on a much more regular basis lately.

One of my favorite visuals is when he compares parents to either a thermometer or a thermostat. "A thermometer reflects the temperature, and a thermostat sets the temperature. An effective parent is a thermostat. You are proactive, knowing your mission and staying steadily on that course. Thermostat moms and dads set the climate with each child at a consistent temperature."

I daily ask myself the question, "Which one am I?"

As I have mentioned before in other posts, I love the thought that we as parents are farmers, in this book I love what the author, Ron, has to say concerning this idea, "Space. That's what kids require in order to grow. Emotional space and room to choose. Allow some space. Better parents do not instantly get better sons and daughters. And the time lag between changes in parent and response from a child can cause mom or dad to despair that "it isn't working." Unless that parent understands the importance of space. Parenting is farming. There's a period of time when it looks as if nothing is happening. If the farmer went out and dug around because "it isn't working," there might never be a crop. In his impatience, he could kill the very crop he is trying to grow. If you are a parent you are a farmer. When you present the truth to a child on any issue, you are sowing seed in the decision-making part of that child. When you praise, hug, support, discipline, or train a son or daughter, you are sowing emotional seed to meet the needs they must have met at home. But, as every farmer can testify, there is a time lag between sowing and reaping. Truth + Space + Prayer & Unconditional Love = A Changed Life"

And if you are like me and worry about past mistakes, he provides hope by saying this, "What about the days and years that are already history? We can't have those back, and it is a waste of time to focus on what we cannot change. But the future is yet to be written. It is time to focus on making the most of the days we have left in their lives."

I would recommend this book to every parent. It has some really wonderful thoughts and ideas that I think can help improve anyones parenting, even if only to reinforce principles already established in the home, but more so I believe that we can always do better and learn more than we do now and know now.

He ends the book with this quote, which I added to my chalk board for the summer says this:

It is my greatest prayer

That on that Resurrection Day

I may stand before my Savior and say,

"Here am I ... and the children You gave me."

1 down, 11 to go

I finished my 1st book on my summer reading list - Standing For Something by Gordon B. Hinckley.

Let me share with you how I read books - I have a highlighter in one hand and a pencil in the other. I wasn't always like this. In fact there was a day that I couldn't imagine marking up a book. It took time to get over that and realize that my books were for me - to use, to read, to learn, and it didn't matter if they looked brand new forever. Well I wore out my highlighter with this one. This book is for everybody. I am reading it to my children now and I hope that when they get older they will read it to themselves and then over and over again. I loved this book!

Among the many many quotes I love from this book one says, " Our lives are the only meaningful expression of what we believe and in Whom we believe. And the only real wealth, for any of us, lies in our faith." Gordon Hinckley describes us, women and parents, as keepers of the home and guardians of virtue! He also says, "Emerson was once asked which, of all the books he had read, had most affected his life. His response was that he could no more remember the books he had read than he could remember the meals he had eaten, but they had made him. All of us are the products of the elements to which we are exposed."

I have always wanted my home to look beautiful, but more importantly I have always wanted my home to FEEL beautiful, of this he says, "I believe that there is no adequate substitution for the practice of kneeling together, morning and evening, as a family in prayer. This, more than fine carpets or the latest in window coverings, will make for better and more beautiful homes. Can we make our homes more beautiful? Yes, through addressing ourselves, as families, to the Source of all true beauty."

We do kneel in prayer morning and night as a family, but from now on I will remember these words and never allow myself to get discouraged when someone is noisy or late in coming or uncooperative. I will always remember that I am beautifying my family, my home and myself as we kneel in unity and give thanks to our God and ask for His help, guidance and direction in our lives.

READ THIS BOOK! Mine is well marked, but it's here if you would like to read it. This is a family classic. I will refer to this book for the rest of my parenting years and beyond!

My Summer Reading List

12 books, 12 weeks of summer

goal - read 1 book a week

- Needs Your Child Must Have Met at Home by Ron Hutchcraft

- Different Children, Different Needs by Charles F. Boyd

- How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen & How To Listen So Your Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

- A Charlotte Mason Education by Catherine Levison

- The Potentially Sane Mother's Guide to Raising Young Children by Tamara A. Fackrell

- The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell

- For the Children's Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay

- A Heart Like His by Virginia H. Pearce

- Standing For Something by Gordon B. Hinckley

- The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute

- A Joyful Mother of Children by Linda J. Eyre

- A Beginner's Guide to Constructing the Universe by Michael S. Scheider

What are you reading this summer? I love a good book recommendation!

My Goal

My goal is to write about something everyday, so that I can look back and not only remember what we did and when, but also to feel like I did accomplish something with the children. Today we started with devotional, as usual. We read the scriptures and after that we read a story from the friend, read a value tales book or something like that. Lately we have been reading an illustrated book on the Articles of Faith. The book goes through each of the Articles of Faith, explains it and why we believe that and why it is important. We are on the 4th one now. The children have memorized the first 4, even Tate can do them with minimal help (he actually gets quite upset if he is helped too much or when he doesn't want help). I love these books. Next we did some workbook activities and we made a scrapbook page for our binders about our trip to the museum yesterday. Then it was piano practice and now outside free time. Nya is teething and she got her arm pinched in a piece of furniture, so she has had a hard day. The house is now quiet as the kids play outside and Nya naps. Now, what to make for dinner?!