Monday, July 19, 2010

This Sunday Darren looked down the pew at me and made a gesture that I understood to mean, I miss you, I want to sit beside you. We have 5 children, who need our attention, our correction and our guidance during church. We hope to be able to instill in them a reverence and a desire to be there, always. Sometimes we struggle, sometimes we lose patience and sometimes we just smile and laugh to each other as our children will be children, even in the middle of church. I believe, without a doubt, without a hesitation, that if Christ were there on Sunday, He would be with the children. Whether loud, quiet, crying or laughing - He would be there with them and He would be happy that they were there, even with all the noise they bring. I need Darren in many ways. I want Darren - to be there with me, to look across the room and smile at me, to be grateful, even in the midst of chaos, that he had these 5 children with me. I do not need to sit beside him and hold his hand - I know I hold his heart and he mine. That is what matters most to me right now. Someday all too soon our pew will be empty of these children and it will be only him and myself once again. We will sit beside each other and hold hands. We will be able to hear what is being said. But we will also miss the giggles and the tears that came from our little ones those many Sundays. We will be sad in a way that it is just us. But we will always have those memories of the days when we were bookends - securing and holding our family together. Supporting them, keeping them safe. After all, the children do not divide us - they are an extension of us, of the love we have for each other and them. In this way we will always be sitting together side by side, holding the hands and hearts of each other, by holding our most precious blessings on our laps.

1 comment:

  1. Do not laugh at me... but I got a little teary reading this, lady! You write so beautifully, and I just love how much you and Darren love each other, and how you care for your children. Oh Shelli, I just love you !!