where i fear to tread

Friday, August 5, 2011


I can take my children almost anywhere. I go to Superstore without fear! We brave Walmart, the video rental store, the post office, Michael's, Home Sense and even, but with a little more coaching and trepidation, we frequent the public library - Shhhh! I have realized that they will, and they do learn how to behave. I leave feeling worn out sometimes, but on the whole, and probably because I have learned that the time bomb is ticking - I go in, I grab, I get out, and we most often have success! Having everyone use the washroom and making sure that they are feed and hydrated helps a big whole bunch.
But there is 1 place where it really doesn't matter how much prep work I do it is always a flop.
The fabric store.
I do not know what happens when we enter those doors. I do not know if it is the overwhelming temptation of all those hiding places, the plentiful colors to distract or little buttons, patches, threads spools and sequins to touch. It could be that they have my blood and see the possibilities of all that fabric and the excitement is too much. It could be that they somehow know that mom needs to think, she needs to think REALLY HARD. At other places I am certainly careful with what I spend money on but I pretty much buy without commitment knowing that if I get home and change my mind I can always return without worry. But at the fabric store once those scissors are out the deal is done, like it or not! They will be no returns, no refunds, and therefore my choices take extra certainty on my part. Did I ever mention that I am quite indecisive. Well maybe I'm not so bad. No, really I am. Could it be that at other places there are lots of other moms in the same boat (albeit sometimes smaller, but the same) and that our chaos is 1 of many and therefore less noticed by myself and others? It could very well be the quiet, proper manner with which seems to be the standard for the quilt sewing female employees of the fabric shop, who with every glance seem to silently speak, "silly woman, this is no place for children"? (I really haven't ever been treated badly at the fabric store. They have always been lovely and helpful. It is most likely my very own thoughts) And yet, despite all of this, I hold out hope and I go to the material store. 1 day either they or I will learn better, and there will be quieter more confident trips into fabric heaven. Trips where I actually leave having made a purchase!

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