Shocked? I know. But it is true. They live here sometimes.
As much as I would like to tell you that my children's feet never touch the ground, that they are always perfect little angels - they are not.
But neither a I!
My vision for my family when I began this adventure was one of perfection. I had high, impossible ideals.
I just knew that this was going to be my calling.
This is where I would truly shine.
This is what I was sent here to do!
And in the beginning things seemed promising. Then with each passing year and every additional child my vision was blurred. Clouded with crayon and play dough, and the discovery of "NO!".
All this has all caused me to feel like I have failed in the dream life I had perfectly planned out. I find discouragement creeping in. What happened? This is not what I ordered!
It is my sweet husband who gently brings me back down to earth by words filled with hope.
It is not the children who require adjustment, it is the plan. Just because this life looks different than I had pictured, just because my children don't behave the way I thought they would, just because I don't feel perfectly at peace with mothering every minute of every day, does not mean that I have failed or that there is something wrong with me or my children.
Sometimes I feel like I could be anywhere, doing anything right now. I could be really, really good at something.
But I am here, in the life I have chosen. And even though it looks different than my original vision, that does not make me a failure. I must learn to adapt. We no longer stroll down a manicured path. We have long since left that comfort behind as we carry on through thick jungle. This is not a one man job. Reinforcements are usually necessary.
But I see now that if it is I who change my picture of what should be, stop comparing this real life with that fantasy, I find acceptance - for children who jump on furniture, for children who question, for days that are long and anything but peaceful. In acceptance there is joy. The picture I carried was heavy, and I may from time to time open that box and long for that dream. But I will need to put it away again and live this life, this real life with noise and mess and stress, and little people calling, "MOM!" everywhere I turn.
I will learn to adapt. I will learn to manage crisis. I will be thrown in the deep end and learn how to swim. And much to the children's chagrin I can at least find peace in the fact that bedtime always comes, and when all is said and done and my children are put to the test, they are good, deep down to the core. In the moments that really matter they rise to the call, and so can I. This is what I was sent here to do.