Thursday, November 17, 2011

I have freckles. I have never really liked them. For years and years I have imagined them away. Then one day a friend sent me some pictures she had taken of our family. My freckles seemed to jump off the screen. Along with my slightly crooked teeth, despite 2 years of braces, and all the other things I do not like about myself.

And then something happened.

In that quiet moment I saw myself through different eyes. How would God feel about my thoughts? He made me. He lovingly gave me this body as a blessing. He did not set out to create an 'Ugly Duckling'. He does not see how I see.

How would I feel if my daughters did that, thought those thoughts?

As they grow I wonder. I wonder what they think of themselves. Do they compare? Do they wish they could make exchanges? Not yet maybe, but someday all too soon? Can they escape this pit that most females fall head first into? When I look at them I see just how perfect and beautiful they are. I view them through a mother's eyes, and it would break my heart if they ever thought they were ugly, or not as good as the girl down the block. What day will it be when I am no longer the voice that matters? Who will it be that will take my place? Has it already happened? How will I ever get them to understand?

Some of us might have an easier time accepting ourselves, totally and completely, others find it harder. I tend to pick myself apart piece by piece and compare all those pieces with someone else, not even usually just one person, but bits here and there from many different people, creating in my mind one impossibly perfect person. And then I wonder why I don't measure up? DUH!
So to my daughters, in the hopes that they will believe or at least come to believe, I would say this:

God wants us to love ourselves. He wants an entire acceptance of self. Because He does. He loves us and accepts us regardless of everything - your ears, your nose, your hair, your teeth. It will seem hard, at some stages more than others, as you go through this life. You probably will not like every little piece of yourself, and you will probably have days when you feel like the Ugly Duckling. You will no longer believe that you are beautiful just because Mom told you so. You will become very aware of how you look and how others perceive you. You must not let that define you. You must somehow learn acceptance. There is power in acceptance and that is the first step. You or I will never be the most beautiful, the nicest, the sweetest, the smartest, or the most talented. Accepting this and deciding instead to simply be the best person you can be is what you must do. We were made by GOD. We are each His creation. He does not want us to feel badly about ourselves. He does not want us to compare. I believe that He doesn't even see what we see when we view ourselves or others. And someday I believe that we will see like He does, through to the heart. We will all be able to see the perfect majesty of His creation we are. You may be thinking, 'That's great and all, but those are just words and this is life, real life right now, and I don't like what I see'. I hear you. I understand. But this is not reality, not really.

 This video - a gift to me from one beloved. I share this very personal thing with you. 
(I am sure some copyright law has been broken.) 
My intention in sharing - For my daughters, in all the years to come, please listen to the words for you are 'She'. 
And to my cherished friends and family, all women everywhere, these words are for you.
When I read your blogs and see your faces, I am reminded of just how lucky I am to call you all my friends. I have been blessed with the best. 
And for the outpour of emotion, I will never apologize. I love you all.

'She' by Cherie Call

(Sorry about the words across the screen. This was made with a free program for my viewing only. It was ever intended it to be published.)

I have a responsibility to accept myself, not only for me but also for my daughters. How are they to develop a deep understanding of the true source of beauty if their mother can't, or won't? I believe that we express a certain gratitude in our acceptance. And then, acceptance turns to love. When we can look past our own imperfections, especially those things we cannot change, we allow space for Him. We begin to see what He sees. We begin to love as he loves, heart to heart, not face to face. So color your hair, workout every day, put braces on your teeth, do what you will to be the best person you can be....... then stop there, and let go. I am not saying it is easy, but I do think it is possible, and He will help.  He made your nose, your ears, your hair, your legs. He made you and He loves you and He wants you to love yourself. Once we truly believe that this is so we can begin to find acceptance for every freckle He lovingly places upon our cheeks. And this, this acceptance turned to love for ourselves and others, will make us most beautiful of all, to Him who truly matters. To Him we are all "She".


  1. Thanks once again, my beautiful...amazing...daughter

  2. I am balling my eyes out. That was a beautiful video and words.