forgivness

I had a great day today - for 95% of the time. The other 5 was filled with frustration, anger, and then immediate regret. I was wrong. There is nothing else to say about it. I let the situation bring out the worst in me. I walked around for the next 20 minutes feeling horrible about myself, horrible about my parenting, and worried about my child. Does she know I love her? Does she know how amazing I think she is? Will she forgive me for the way I acted? I did the only thing I could think to do. I went to my bedroom and prayed. I prayed for forgiveness. I prayed for a deeper ability to be calm and understanding. I prayed that she would forgive me, and that I could forgive myself. Then I went to her.

I could tell you that I hugged her and told her how sorry I was. But this story is about her, not me. She forgave. She forgave without grudge. She opened her heart right back up to me. She trusted me again. How grateful I am for the heart of this child. When I am wrong, when I fail, when I make a mistake - she loves, she forgives, she lets go. There is so much for me to learn from her. How I wish I could be more like Noelle.