a cup of comfort

Monday, February 27, 2012

Today has been one of those days. Ones when you silently pray that no one will come knocking at your door. A day filled with mess and chaos, and guilt. I have a list longer than I would ever be able to complete. Clean the chicken coop, gerbil house, and hedgehog cage, school the children, do the dishes (from last night and the day before), piano lessons, cut the boys hair, return e-mails and phone calls, comfort the crying toddler, bandage the bleeding wound, keep the house in some sort of order, break up fights while speaking kindly, drive here, drop off this, do that, read those, plan for this, shop for that, pay the bills, and on and on and on. My laundry is exploding out of the hamper. I have over due library books, and they're incurring late charges!! My toilets are disgusting and in desperate need of some attention. Not to even mention there is still dinner to make and Family Home Evening to execute. And I am to do this all with the grace and patience I expect myself to have.

For those who think my house is always tidy.......


Go ahead feel sorry for me, please. I do. These are the days when I wish most that I had an older sister. I wish I could ditch my responsibilities, and my guilt, pack up the kids and drive over to her house. She would let me sit on her sofa and vent. She would make me a cup of tea, and love my children, regardless of whether or not they were perfectly behaved or little rascals. She would snuggle them tight since I am empty, and her love would fill them and me back up again. She would put everything in perspective and let me know that it is going to be okay. She would tell me that all that stuff doesn't matter. I would not believe her, but I would welcome the words. She would insist I stay for dinner, and she would not go to any trouble for it. We would eat grill cheese, and laugh, and cry, and talk. She would give me a hug and send me home and tell me that if I needed anything I could give her a call.

But I don't have a sister.

Then I read this: "Jesus doesn't make up the difference. Jesus makes all the difference. Grace is not about filling gaps. It is about filling us. Jesus (fills) the whole space (between him and us). He paid our debt in full. He paid it all. It is finished. You have plenty to do, but it is not to fill that gap." Brad Wilcox, His Grace is Sufficient

So although I do not have an older sister, I do have an older brother. He is there for me. He will not fill my cup with tea, but he will fill my heart with comfort. And on days like this, when I need him most, he will not only fill me to the top, but to overflowing, if  I but ask and open up for him.

 There are still things to do, and I will feel overwhelmed at times, but the grace I expect from myself does not come from me, it comes from my Savior. When I feel as though I cannot wash one more dish, or smile encouragingly one more time, or utter one more word in softness, I will shed my tears, roll up my sleeves, and get to work. And just as the promise of spring brings with it a renewal of life, I will accept the promise of my Savior and let him fill, not just the gap, but the entire space around me with grace and love. I will push through that soil and become something beautiful.



5 comments:

  1. I can't help it - I love knowing that someone else has these days too. Untidy photos and all!! (where were the dirty toilets?)

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  2. I love this. Sometimes it is hard to stay cool under the pressure of all the things there are to get done every day. Thanks for sharing that quote!!

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  3. You also have sisters in the Gospel Shelli, not the same as real sisters I know but still you know there are sisters you can count on! You are always welcome to call or come over (even though it's not just down the road). It's nice to know that we all have days like that and that we al have someone in common that we can count on.

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  4. Your dirty house looks like my clean house.

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