a different view

Monday, March 14, 2011

I left for the evening session of Stake Conference this Saturday in rather a bad mood. I had wanted to leave the house tidy, and the children clean, but they did not appreciate my plan. After I had asked them several times to please clean up and go have their showers, and without any compliance, I lost it. Not the screaming raging look-out-for-the-crazy-woman kind of losing it, but the don't-say-a-word-and-put-on-the-most-sour-disagreeable-face-you-can-and-grab-a-laundry-basket-and-fill-it-up-with-all-the-things-that-were-not-being-put-away-in-their-regular-happy-little-homes kind. My silence spoke volumes to the kids and although the room was now clean and they trotted off, heads down, to shower, I felt bad. I did not feel like going to Stake Conference. I didn't want to hear all about the parent and person I should be, but felt I wasn't.

I went anyway. 
A man I had never seen before spoke to us and I could tell instantly that he was at least partially blind. He "read" his talk to us using some sort of electronic brail device. I sat in awe and wonderment as I watched him. Then all at once, as I listened to him speak on becoming perfect through our Savior Jesus Christ, my eyes started to burn and my heart was torn open.
I could suddenly see. 
I could see my children, dirty or clean. I could see the toys spread all over the house. I could see through broken eyes where before I was blinded by all the things undone and unimportant. I could see the awful beautiful messy mess for what it really was - my life, and I could see it all! 

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